"Thanks...Susan helped me with it, one of the times Dad was out with friends," I replied. I shifted from one foot to the next, also sensing the awkwardness and hating it. I cursed my guardian and his friend for showing up at the perfectly wrong time. "Uh, veggie spaghetti, salad, and juice."

For some reason, I didn't want to go back into the other room and definitely didn't want you to have to deal with them. Slowly, I walked towards you, letting the door fall shut behind me and I imagined that I could hear Dad and Mark giggling like the gossips they were. Luckily they knew when to hold their tongues...except around my poor ears.

Looking at you from the corner of my eye, I said in a teasing tone, "You never did tell me how you feel about me." The tension in the room was enough that if it had color, I could repaint the whole building, not just our apartment, and I knew that I shouldn't push you, but I wanted...no, I needed to know.

My gaze was fixed rather intently upon the floor while i tried to gather the courage to finally leave your bedroom. Of course it hadn't passed me by that you may come to check on me and so the soft knocking upon the door raised my head. A light smile crept upon my lips as your figure was revealed standing in the doorway, standing up abruptly.

"Oh no, it's fine...its just not what i'm used to." Shrugging my shoulders lightly as if to dismiss the matter swiftly, not wishing to dwell upon it. "I can stay for dinner if that's still alright?" My gaze wandered around the room, unsure what to say and so gestured around the room. "I like the colour scheme..."

It was back again, a slight awkwardness hovering between us. Certainly not as bad as it had been but still, it was present. "So....what's for dinner?"

When you didn't emerge, Mark teased my dad, "Oh! Look! We've scared her."

"I hope not," I muttered. I was helping Mark cook, chopping up onions. My eyes flicked to the door every few minutes, as Mark and I made spaghetti and Dad made a drink, mixing various fruits and vegetables until it was just the right color or taste or whatever that he was looking for.

Mark bumped me with his hip and looked pointedly at the door. I shook my head and pointed to the food still on the counter. He waved his hand breezily and then pointed at the sink and then the door. I sighed, knowing he wouldn't let it drop, washed my hands, drying them by rubbing them over my hips and went to my door.

My hand lingered in the air over the door for a moment, before I knocked lightly and entered to find you just sitting on the bed. A gentle smile was on my lips, as I tried to reassure you quietly, "My family is normally like this. I hope it didn't scare you."

"It doesn't matter..." I reassure you with a faint smile before slipping into the safety of your bedroom. It was a mess, you were right. My gaze traveled around the room slowly, inspecting the clothes that lay strewn across the floor and then the colours of the walls and the covers. A smile played across my lips as i picked my way across the floor, gathering some of the clothes which lay upon the bed and setting them to one side so that i could sit.

Fishing my phone out of my pocket, i let it lie in my palm, not bothering to turn it on for the time being. I was trembling, i could see my hand shaking as it lay against my leg. It was unfortunate that Mark and Don had turned up when that had, it had left so much unsaid and thrown even more into confusion. A faint groan escaped me as turned my cell on, the soft welcome tune sounding before several messages popped up. Two text messages and a voice mail. One message was from Hunter and the other a girl called Charlott.

Assuming the voice mail was from Rebecca, i ignored it for now and dialed my home number, placing the phone to my ear. A brief conversation with my mother informed me that my father was in his usual state, but yes it was fine for me to stay for dinner. I felt guilty as i hung up but tried to push such feelings to the back of my mind.

Shutting my phone off again, since i didn't wish to get more phone calls of rebecca, i stood to my feet. I could hear laughter from the other side of the door and i sat back down upon the bed. A couple more minutes, i'd sit here just a little longer.

"Go ahead. It's a mess though," I warned you, watching as you went into my room. I wondered what you would make of the mess of clothes that spread from the open drawers of my dresser, across the floor to my full size bed. That was all that was in my room though, very few personal effects. The walls were black with neon green streaks painted on them and my blankets were purple, a very appealing and contradicting color scheme in my opinion.

As soon as the door was closed, I jumped up and ran over to Mark. Mockingly I pounded on his arm and wailed quietly, "Mark! Did you have to say it like that? She's gonna think I'm obsessed with her!"

"Down, kitty," Dad said, walking over and grabbing me by the wrist, so I started kicking Mark, until he picked me up by my ankles. All three of us laughed as they tossed me onto the couch and I groaned as they shared a kiss. They weren't lovers or anything, but they always kissed in front of me.

Mark looked at me and teased, "Don't worry, if you're so embarrassed I'll tell her that I heard it at the diner. Her family, extended and all, talks about her all the time anyway."

"Please do. I'm dying of embarrassment as things stand," I replied, looking at my hands and trying not to laugh. Dad sat down next to me and patted my comfortingly, before he started tickling me.

I was back to now wordlessly glancing between you and the two men, not entirely sure what to do or what to make of the suitation. A faint smile tugged at the corners of my mouth as Mark spoke to me, informing me that you never had company. Turning my head back to you, i offer a small smile in your direction.

As you introduced me, i dipped my head toward both of them, surprised to hear that they had heard of me. Clearly your affections had been long lasting, long enough that you had mentioned my name to your father. Suddenly i felt very awkward, what did they know about me and what did they expect of me?

"Uh...I'll need to call my folks and check..." I watched Mark disappear into the kitchen and then turned back to Don, "Oh...go ahead, i'm going to call now. Bobbi can i use your room?" Lifting myself to my feet, i fixed my gaze upon you and waited for your answer.

In all honesty, i just wanted to get somewhere quiet. My thoughts were buzzing a hundred miles an hour and my heart was beating just as fast. I needed a moment to gather my thoughts, as did you i was sure.

When you hand brushed my leg, I jumped back into reality, just as Mark said, in his sweetest voice, "Honey, Bobbi never has company. You can stay as long as you like. Don and I will just have to try and not embarrass her."

"Aw, but embarrassing my daughter is my job," my dad said. Both males had black hair, though my father's went to his shoulders and Mark just as raggedly cut, chin length hair. Both, for older men, were still handsome, because the three of us couldn't go out to brunch without the waitress hitting on them both.

I tapped your knee so you'd look at me and smiled warmly, before introducing you to my father, "Jess, that's Mark and the smart mouth is my dad, most people call him Don. Dad and Mark, this is Jess."

"It's wonderful to finally meet you Jess. Care to stay for dinner?" Mark asked as he went into the kitchen. My dad sat on the couch and asked, "Are you gonna finish this game or can I cut in?"

My gaze, which had been focused upon the floor between us, now lifted to rest upon your eyes. A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth before my lips parted to answer your question, but the words never left. I too heard the front door open and turned my head sharply to find a stranger peering toward us, another close behind him. Lost for words, i could only glance between them and you for what felt like several minutes.

Thinking fast i weighed up my options; make my excuses and leave or stay where i am and wait the awkward silence out. “No...no you don’t have to leave..” I was surprised when it was my voice which suddenly spoke out, though i remained where i sat. Shifting slightly, my hand brushed against your leg and a glanced in your direction, hoping that you would say something.

“I can leave...if its easier...”

My heart skipped several beats, apparently deciding that it wasn't nessisary or maybe it was paralyzed from happiness. If so I couldn't blame it. I looked up to meet your gaze uncertainly and asked, "Do you mean that you like me?"

Just then there were footsteps on the stairs, two pairs and I sighed, knowing it was my dad and who ever was gonna keep him company. Today it was Mark, and he walked in first and then leaned back out to called to my father, "Don! Bobbi has company so behave!"

"Hypocrite," Dad said as he walked in. He smiled at you and then looked at me and teased, "Should I leave?"

I was too stunned and embarrassed, just by him being there that I couldn't reply at first. My jaw dropped slightly and I tried to think up something to say.

My heart sank; you didn't mean me, how could i have thought you did? But then, no wait - you were teasing me, you did mean me. Unless there was another girl called Jess who looked and acted exactly like me. I cringed as you brought up my outburst earlier, i had never meant to hurt you. Not really.

Feeling you lean forward, i lifted my eyes to your face, suddenly feeling rather vulnerable as you tucked my hair behind my ear. You liked me, you really did and that just made my actions worse, you cared what i thought and all i had shown you was that i hated you. Which wasn't true; it was so far from the truth.

Watching you look down, i could almost read your thoughts in your facial expression. You were expecting me to reject you, waiting for me to turn you down. "I always see you..." The words left my lips before i even thought about it, but i didn't regret them.

I was so far out of my comfort zone it wasn't remotely funny; my heart was hammering within my chest and i was sure that i was trembling. "You are all that i think about. And you aren't a freak, i shouldn't have said that.."

A laugh escaped my lips as you asked if I meant you and I answered, "No, not you." After a quick pause, I leaned closer and said, "I'm crushing on a girl that I've always known as Jess. She had the most amazing green eyes that could steal any girl's or guy's heart and the softest looking, strawberry blond hair. She is too popular though. She doesn't even see me. It breaks my heart and sometimes I start fights with her just so she'll look at me, though after today, I don't think I will. I sort of really got hurt when she called me a freak."

Having to follow through with my little speech someway, I swept your hair back and tucked it behind your ear. Everything about you was so perfect and beautiful and there was no way that you would accept it. You were kind enough to at least try to help me, even if it was after everyone left and also kind enough to come and spend time with me, knowing that I was alone so often. You were beautiful enough to stop my heart at a mere glance. And you were so out of reach to me, that I leaned back so that when you got up to leave me, I would hinder you.

My hair fell in my eyes and I didn't bother to move it away, as I waited for the sounds of your departure. It wasn't fair! How could I love you so truly and not even be allowed hope. Those were my thoughts as my heart ached in my chest. Such a swift change.

I had expected you to blow the question off, or name someone obscure. What i didn't expect was you to say me, and for a moment all i could do was sit and stare at you. Me? You liked me, but that explained it of course - why you would continue to talk to me after everything i did, or didn't do. "Me?" I asked almost breathelssly, perhaps i had misheard you.

Not knowing what to say in return, or if i had the confidence to return the honesty, a smiled at you before bowing my head. Long strands of strawberry-blonde hair fell forward to shield half of my face, providing some form of concealment to my opposing thoughts.