You didn't care and it showed in your gaze. You didn't know why you bothered with me and you thought I was just a joke, like everyone else did. There almost seemed to be hatred in your gaze as you glared at me. From the corners of my still watering eyes I watched you go through your locker and I winced as you said you guess you were.

When your gaze swept over me, I felt warm and I wanted your approval. My whole being was happy that you just looked at me. I bet you don't even know that kind of love and much less understand the pain that it causes. When you smirked, however, I knew that my joy was about to become pain.

It felt like I had been hit when you called me a freak and I shouted after your retreating back, as you went up the stairs, "I fucking love you too!" Roughly, I threw my books back in and jerked my backpack out. There was no way I was gonna stay at school when I was hurting this bad. Not a chance that I'd open myself up to that.

The vibrations from slamming my locker echoed up my arm, as I looked up the stairwell and saw you looking back. I didn't even hide the tears that were pouring down my face, as I turned and ran away.

I withdrew my hand, the fingers curling against my palm as my offer of help was rejected. The accusation in your gaze was extraordinary painful and i turned away, glancing in the direction that my friends had disappeared in. I already knew what i was, i was a coward and a hypocrite, and i certainly didn't need you to remind me.

Anger churned within my stomach as i turned back to face you, meeting your empty smile with a scowl. A smirk swept across my lips as i hid my feelings behind cold disinterest, moving across to my locker and entering the combination. As usual the lock stuck and i slammed my fist into the metal, taking out my irritation on something that wouldn't feel pain.

I hated you. Hated the emotions you stired within me, hated how stupid and nervous one look from you made me feel. I wasn't going to become like you, i wasn't going to be the school joke. There was nothing in my locker that i actually needed and so i slammed it shut again. "Guess i am. Don't know why i bothered..."

My gaze swept up and down your body before i smirked, "You really are a freak." I turned my back on you after that and walked away, hugging my textbooks tightly to my chest. Keeping my eyes fixed upon the ground, i quickened my pace as i felt my own eyes begin to water.

I only glanced over my shoulder once i reached the stairway, looking back down the corridor in your direction. Why couldn't I say what I really wanted to say? Why couldn't i tell you how i felt?

((I don't mind. I think it's brilliant that you want to experiment and expand on your writing styles))

"What a coward," I whispered to loud enough for you, looking up at you with accusing eyes. I knew that I was letting my pain show through my facade as I looked up at you, but I didn't care. I really, totally, and truly loved you and you probably didn't even know my name. I knew yours though. I always had. I had always loved your soft, pink tinted hair and your exotic green eyes.

Shaking my head, I made my hair fall in my eyes again and said, as I pushed myself up off the floor, "Don't you have friends to catch up with." Part of me wanted to talk to you like I would a friend, but another part of me was too shy and frightened by you to speak normally. I closed my eyes as I felt them start to water slightly, as I looked at you, so close, but still out of my reach. My throat ached with the desire to ask you what you thought of me, but my own cowardice didn't let me.

Shooting you an empty, haunted smile, I said, "So how are you today? You aren't sick are you? Talking to a loser like me." I went to my locker, which was just down a few down from yours and opened it, leaning in to hide my face as I struggled to keep back more tears.

[[I don’t normally write in first person but i’m going to give it a shot, hope it’s alright.]]

A soft sigh passed my lips as i propped my shoulder against my locker, smiling warmly at one of my friends as they reminisced over the weekend’s antics. Tucking several long strands of strawberry-blonde hair behind my ear, i shifted my gaze toward the commotion taking place in the middle of the corridor. Hunter and his sidekick were at it again, picking on someone smaller or quieter or shyer just to make themselves feel better.

An irritable sigh escaped my lips as i glanced in either direction, hoping that a teacher or someone was going to come along and break it up. It was selfish of me not to step in myself, i knew that but it was my reputation at stake. However, as the crowd shifted around the confrontation i caught sight of the familiar looking blue hair and a groan escaped past my lips.

“What a loser...” I glanced to my right at one of my friends who was awaiting my approval or at least my agreement. Providing the required smirk, i tracked my emerald green eyes upon the situation again. God, what a coward i was.

The bell rung shrill and loud, driving the mass of teen bodies in multiple directions as the headed to their next class. It seemed to be enough to distract the two footballers, for as soon as Hunter had flung you into the lockers the two of them marched off, congratulating each other.

“Coming Jess?” I hesitated, looking back at you as you drew your knees to your chest. “I forgot my Maths book in my locker, i’ll catch you up alright?” Waiting until the small group of my friends had wandered out of sight, i turned back to face you. The corridor was mostly empty now, there was no one to see.

Moving forward, i stopped to stand next to you and shifted my books into one arm so that i could offer you a hand. “You alright?”

((OOC:/ It's okay. I understand personal trouble more than you can possibly imagine. I hope it all works out and I can't wait to RP with you))

[[I will be posting as soon as i get the chance! Sorry, i'm having a little personal trouble. Will get to this as soon as i can. Sorry again!]]

[[I am so grabbing this, will post as soon as i can just didn't want it to get claimed before i got the chance.]]

We’ve got to lie and deny
Cause it’s not right
We can’t come out and say it
Cause it’s not allowed

They think that we’re just rebelling
That this feelings are hallow
They think we’re just bluffing
But I’ll lead, if you promise to follow

Love that’s not proper
Love that’s forbidden except at night
Love that’s considered evil
That’s the love that makes us fight

We’ve got hide and close our eyes
Cause it’s not proper
We can’t hold hands in public
Because it’s not dignified

They think that we’re just acting out
That we’re not in love
They think we don’t mean it
But hold my hand and we’ll run

Love that’s not proper
Love that’s forbidden, except out of sight
Love that’s considered evil
That’s the love that makes us fight

That's the poem I choose, out of all my little black books, to read on day that the school had a small talent show. We lived in a little backwater town, where homophobia was just the way they were raised. That poem was for you. Did you know that? I tried to tell you with my eyes, but you seemed so distant that day. Actually, you've always been distant, maybe that's why this is such a surprise.

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Walking down the school hallway, I kept my blue/gray eyes straight forward, refusing to meet anyone's gaze, just like I had walked for the past few years, afraid of my classmates because of the abuse I suffered from them. My dyed blue hair was cut in feathery layers in the back, with just enough in the front to cover my eyes.

"Hey, freak!" a voice shouted. I used the sound to know to doge around him; it was Hunter, the lead football player. He had been the first to leap into harassing me, after I came out. Sad part was, he had actually claimed that he loved me, before...

His sausage like, tanned fingers closed around my pale, fore arm. I yelped and tried to jerk away, but my back slammed into someone else, who didn't move. It was Lance, another football player and a total follower to Hunter. Both of them were pushing six feet in height, almost a foot taller than my 5'3" self, had dark hair, and blue eyes.

"What? Too good to say 'hi' to me?" Hunter asked, leaning in close to me. No reply passed my lips, as I looked straight forward at the lettering on his shirt; a teacher walked pass and didn't even say anything to them.

Lance poked me in my ribs and said to Hunter, "I think the brood is broken."

The bell rang and Hunter said, "I guess you're right."

With no warning at all, he shoved me hard enough to make me fall against the lockers on the other side of the hall, before him and Lance walked away, to their class. I leaned back against the lockers and pulled my knees up. I wanted to cry, I really did, but I didn't want them to get that satisfaction, so I held it in, and just nodded my head.

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OOC:// please feel free to join. I didn't mention the other character in detail, so you can make her up and her past. the plot basically is, she is the quiet, out cast kid and you are a popular chick; you both have feelings for each other, though the popular girl doesn't want to admit it and the outcast does want to add to the abuse she receives. People can join as friends to either girl, siblings, or teachers. please, join. your post don't have to be anywhere near as long as mine.