OMG! I read everything and have the urge to reply XD We need Chandler
and Joey to KISS and be all awkward around each other after at the poker
meet XD

theDuckandtheChick

Stabbing at his food with his spork, trying to kill the already dead creation that he was
trying to devour, Joey didn't quite hear Chandler come out of his room. He was too focused
on trying to eat something. After stuffing a rather large bite in his mouth he stared at his
friend with big puppy dog eyes. He swallowed roughly, not exactly chewing enough but
really when did Joey chew enough? "If you're trying to bait me into doing the cowboy thing
for Ross' birthday forget it that was a one time thing only!" He said quickly before stuffing
another bite of food in his mouth.

Suddenly Joey realized that Chandler's eyes looked kinda red. He sounded sad, and
looked like a wreck! He swallowed roughly, suddenly feeling rather scared. Did his boss call
back and fire him or something?!? "Chandler?" He wiped his mouth clean before pulling a
chair over. "Hey buddy what's wrong? You where really happy a few minutes ago." He said
worriedly. He didn't say anything about Chandler looking like he had just cried, he knew
that would be a major punch to the man's pride. It would only make whatever he was going
to ask worse (since it obviously had nothing to do with dressing up like a cowboy for
somebodys birthday). He wondered if he should hug the other gently?

AH! THATS IT! A crazy ass hug could-no don't think about that right now Joey! He thought to
himself.

Every Breath You Take...
Chandler nervously chuckled to Joey's decision on Ross' birthday surprise, and took a slight
memory of what happened on that fateful day. He was stuck in a daydream for a few mom-
ents, but he soon was pulled away from it when Joey moved out from his position and clo-
ser to him. Chandler sat up straight, trying to pull out a good and legiable question for the
male without giving any hints on Chandler's "situation."
Chandler licked his lips, ran his fingers through his hair, and sighed heavily. He wasn't sure
he was ready to do this at all. Carefully, he rolled his shoulders and leaned towards Joey.
"Say--of course, all hypothetical--you had a really good friend, whom didn't seem gay, but
he was...and suddenly, he just came out with the god awful truth and told you that he was
gay." He paused, lifting up his finger to have Joey to wait, "BUT! There's more. Not only
does he tell you that he's gay...he also tells you that he loves--well not love, more like...
sexually attracted to you...yeah, I think that's how to put it.." he trailed off, snapping back
into reality. "W-what would you do? To this friend...to your friendship?"

theDuckandtheChick
...why did Chandler, of all people, have to ask this completely hypothetical question?!? And
right after he licked his lips to. "Hypothetical?" Joey repeated after Chandler had asked his
question. Once Chandler confirmed he put his thinking face on, though he wasn't thinking
about what he would say really... Okay, well, he sort of was but he was trying to figure out
how to answer without lying and without letting Chandler know he was going through a
homosexual chrisis here! "Well..." He couldn't think of anything good! "I'll have to get
back to you on that seeing as how I don't know how I'd react to the last part... See, I don't
really care if my friends are interested in men, women, whatever their gender...
Doesn't bother me, they're still my friends." He smiled to Chandler, hoping that the guy
didn't think bad of him for addmiting that he'd accept a gay guy. "Just... I don't know what
I'd do if they said they'd like me. I'd still care about them and be their close friend and
what not, I'm just not sure what I would say or how I would respond to all that." He said
with a cheesey grin.

"Why? What would you do?" Joey asked quickly, a little too quickly. He wanted to know,
what would Chandler do if he figured out that the kiss he had planned wasn't really an
accident? Hopefully he'd never find out that the future 'accidental' kiss was carefully plotted
out by the dimwitted Joey, but just in case! Maybe it wouldn't have to be an 'accident'? NO!
Chandler wasn't gay he couldn't just go up and kiss him! It had to look like a mistake!
Yes! THINGS HAVE TO BE COMPLICATED OR THEY DON'T WORK!!!

Every Breath You Take...
Chandler nodded his head to every word that escaped from Joey's mouth. He was listening
intensely for a set of words--dump, leave, hate. He needed to know if Joey would care...
would care if Chandler was going through a phase and wanted to share a kiss with his best-
friend or what not. Chandler didn't really know what, he just had this sickly, lustful feeling
within his stomach that wanted Joey. At last, Joey expressed his thoughts of the unfor-
giveable situation and Chandler was relieved. He pulled away from Joey, a small smile
tugging at the corner of his lips.
Then Joey's returned the question. Damn. "Wh-what would I do?" He was hesitant. Fearful
of what his big mouth would say. He'd dropped the facts of Ross like Rachael, when he
told Ross that Monica was fat back in the 70s. Sheesh, he needed to learn to keep his
big mouth close. "I dunno, I-I would just..." he trailed off, looking up at the ceiling. "Let
him be gay...I guess...and probably...be curiousandseehowitwouldbeliketokissaguy..."
he cringed. "Because I'm a stupid jackass who's CURIOUS!!" He lifted up his hands to
either side. "Yeah."

theDuckandtheChick
Joey was almost relieved that Chandler just grinned like an idiot, though he was wondering
what that smile was all about anyway. It almost looked like Chandler was relieved to hear
that from him... Did Chanlder have a gay friend?! Was he interested in a guy? A guy that
Joey didn't know about!?! The relief that washed over his entire body suddenly turned
sharply into dispare. He only sank further into his paranoid thoughts at Chandler's answer.
"You'd kiss him?" Joey asked, though he sounded nonshalaunt about it. He was a
wonderful actor wasn't he? Chandler would not find out that Joey was jealous of Chandler
and this guy that Joey didn't know about!

A cheekey grin crossed the male as his best friend shouted that he was curious. "Curious
eh? Ehh?" He elbowed Chandler in the side, hinting that he thought Chandler liked
somebody but he made sure to act happy about it. "Oh come on, it's no big deal. I can't
say I haven't been curious at one point in my life." Like now maybe. Especially now! Joey
figured that Chandler was irrisistably attractive when he was flustered! But Joey had to be a
supper human and resist anyway! Now wasn't the time! Or was it?

Joey moved his hands up towards Chandler, hesetent. Suddenly they just grabbed the
man's shoulders before he smiled. "You're... I... I'll support you, no matter what." Stupid!
Stupid! Stupid! "Cause I'm your best friend, that's not changing any time soon." He
smirked while returning his attention to his meal. He kept mentally kicking himself since
his origonal intention was to place his hands on Chandler's face and kiss him... but he
didn't have it in him. Chandler was curious, that was in his favor but what if he was curious
for somebody else? It would make sense... why would he come to Joey if he might've been
attracted to him? That would be too obvious! He figured Chandler would have gone to Ross
or somebody else that he didn't even know about, an office buddy or something... Ross?
Joey almost choaked on his sandwich salad-type thing when a rather vivid image of
Chandler and Ross sharing a gentle kiss flashed before his eyes.

He swallowed roughly before coughing. "I'm gonna go get ready to go meet up with the
gang, I still need to brush my teeth and stuff." He said quickly before walking over to his
room. He closed the door and grabbed a pillow before screaming in it. He felt heart
broken! He didn't think he liked Chandler that much, to the point where he'd actually feel
something if he saw Chandler with somebody else! ...but he did... "I gotta kiss chandler..."
He mumbled to himself as he plotted it out.

He'd act sick right? Yeah! Then he's go home and he'd put shoes in front of the door, then
he'd brush his teeth twenty times before waiting for Chandler to get back! Yes, then
Chandler would trip and Joey would 'fall' while catching Chandler and land in such a way so
that his lips locked with Chandlers! Wait... no, he needed to fall on Chandler, he didn't
want to be under the guy when he kissed him. It had to be the other way around! Okay,
somehow Chandler had to be around when he tripped! No Chandler would just watch him
fall over... Maybe he could trick Chandler into thinking he was sick, get Chandler to lay
down, fall on him, then kiss him durring the fall? Joey perked a brow while staring at his
pillow curiously. Chandler wasn't that suguestable was he? No of course not. He gripped his
hair tightly while trying to think. It was driving him crazy! He couldn't deal with this any
more!

"I'll just go out there, open the door and say-" He opened the door, eyed Chandler, then

shut the door and walked into the bathroom before brushing his teeth furiously. Then it
hit him... he could do it on purpose, but it was an accident. How? Simple! He'll tell Chandler
he got a date, leave with some girl that he'd pretend to be going out with and just have
coffee with her or something, go home, go to bed, wait for Chandler to go to work, wait for
Chandler to come home and then act like he thought it was the girl when the door opened
and kiss him! Yeah? NO! Joey began to swish the mouth wash around before spitting...
There was no good way to do this now was there? "Unless it was when he was sleeping or
something..." Joey muttered to himself, however that would defeat the purpose. He didn't
think Chandler licked his lips in his sleep...

The only plan that would actually work, or at least sounded like it would work, was the first
one... the one where he acted sick and came back... After washing his mouth out with
water Joey stared at himself in the mirror. He was so tempted to just go out there, peck
Chandler's lips, then get a taxi that would take him to the airport, which would then sell
him a ticket to Canada where he'd hide out and never act again! ...Okay, that was out of
the question, acting was part of who he was! He couldn't just give that up! Besides,
he wouldn't get to see Chandler anymore if he did that... and he'd rather see the guy and
hug him rather than not see him at all...

"God I must be gay... girls only drove me out of my mind, they'd never smash it into a
million peices before stomping on it's remains like Chandler does..." He whispered to
himself before hearing a quack. He looked down at the duck that was now standing on his
foot, looking up at him. "...what are you looking at?" It tilted it's head to the side before
ruffling it's feathers out a bit. "So you want me to just man up, is that it?" The duck began
waddling off. "Yeah, walk away, you're no help." Joey grumbled while rubbing his face. He
couldn't just stay here in his room forever... Reluctently Joey put his socks and shoes on,
only half aware that they wouldn't be leaving for a little while longer.

theDuckandtheChick
Joey watched Chandler crawl towards him, which was really funny because he looked like a
monkey of some sort. "Chandler, I'm trying to tell you stop huggi-" too late his best friend
gave him another tight hug causing him to gasp and wince almost letting a small yelp
escape him. "Y-yeah of course I love you! B-but in a normal way!" He tried to say swiftly,
slinking into the recliner before holding his stomach with a silent scream. He peered out
over the recliner to Chandler, who finally seemed to get it.

"Alright alright, I'd argue with you but I'm about to die from all those hugs." He sighed
under his breath before giving a silly grin to the ceiling. He was happy that Chandler was
happy. Secretly he was also happy about those kisses on his cheek. "Any other time I'd
tackle you into a hug without hesitasion, you know that, but I've been trying to tell you I
got hit by a car so go easy on me for a while." He said with a happy chuckle.

"Now if you'll escuse me, I need to take a shower and prepare for my date with alittle lady
called Sandy Which." He said with this broad grin before heading towards the bathroom. He
paused and decided he should get his clothes first

Every Breath You Take...
Chandler found it hard to believe that Joey would was hit by a car, thus he didn't make
any attempt to ask about it. Chandler figured he was lying, trying to get out of their friend-
to-friend huggle. He wasn't sure if Joey was that scared of homos or that Joey just didn't
want to be hugged by his friend. Of course, the male did state that he would tackle him
into a hug--just as Chandler did--but still, he found it hard to believe. The male would of
have a limp, or maybe an ache...scream...yelp...anything. Yet Joey only blushed and
'eeped' once when Chandler said the "L" word. It was peculiar, but Joey had ended the
conversation within a snap.
Joey stated he had a date, and suddenly, Chandler felt sick to his stomach. Reasons un-
known, and he dared not to wonder. However, he was still acting out as if he had nothing
to lose, when he had everything to lose. Chandler quickly came up to his feet and turned
around to face Joey's back. "Y-you have a date? Why wasn't I told? You could've told me
during my "Ross" phase!" Chandler blurted out, one hand already within his pocket as the
other one was lifted out towards Joey.


theDuckandtheChick
Of course Joey loved his hugs! Even before he started having feelings for Chandler he had
always been the hugging type! He'd lept across the room to hug Chandler many times, it
wasn't a rare thing!If Joey knew that Chandler thought for even a second that he was trying
to get out of their friend-to-friend huggle he would've delt with the pain and tackled
Chandler into a hug right then and there.

Suddenly Chandler's voice sounded rather sad and shocked. Joey turned to face his best
friend while tilting his head to the side. A date? "What?" Chandler continued on, asking
why he wasn't told. The actor grinned when the Ross moment was brought up. Were they
bad friends for titling every cloud of depression that settled on them a 'Ross moment' or
'Rossing'? No, probably not. Still, why wasn't Chandler thinking?! Even he could've figured
out that Sandy Which was sandwich! "Sandy Which.... Sandywich.... sand-which Sandwich."
He grinned, breaking it down for Chandler.

Joey blinked before his stomach growled. "See, I'm just hungry!" He said happily. "Quick
question though... Uuum... since when do I have to tell you when I'm going to eat a
sandwhich?" He asked confusedly. "Better yet, why do you look all sad like I just broke
your heart or something? If you want I'll make you a sandwich and we can both eat them."
He said with a warm smile. "But you'll have to wait, I still really need that shower." He
sighed while entering his room to get the clothes, obviously not getting that it wasn't the
sandwhich that Chandler was worried about. If he realized that Chandler was acting like
going out on a date with some girl was a bad thing, he might've called the man out on it.
Fortunately for Chandler he was mostly phocused on cleaning himself up, eating a
sandwhich, and then calling his agent to inform him that he got a job on his own...

Well, actually it was thanks to Chandler. If he wasn't trying to make sure everything was
alright, the CEO and co-founder of the Cocacola Incoperation wouldn't have nearly ran him
over on the way home. Yeah, it was a job that was given to him out of fear and simpathy.
Fear that they'd be sued, simpathy because Joey was an idiot, but he didn't care! He was
just generally happy! Cocacola was a big company which meant he'd be set to help with the
rent for a couple months! Could this get any better?

He stopped with a shirt and pants in his hand, picturing himself and Chandler about to
kiss. He blinked rathr hard a few times to snap him out of this day dream. "Baaaaad
Joey." He whispered to himself while carrying the clothes off to the bathroom. "What kind
of sandwhich do you want? Oh, the ducktapes in the frige, I kept it on the mustard for ya if
you were wondering where it was."

Every Breath You Take...
Chandler blushed heavily, turning his head away from Joey as if nothing actually happened.
"I'm not hungry, I-I was just making sure...since...since we have that poker meet with
everyone." Chandler moved his face towards the air and quickly walked from where he stood
to his bedroom, fluid and graceful movements within his amble. He had slammed the door
shut behind him, and suddenly his weight fell against the door. His heart had been racing
this whole time, but now he was listening to it. He carefully heed to it. Slowly, he slid down
the door with his back. His hands covered his face, and a silent cry escape his mouth.
"I really meant it," he whispered in a cracked voice. "I meant every word of it." This wasn't
a reassurement of what he spoke to Joey--no, this was an epiphany. He took realiztion to
the fact that he was in love with Joey. He did not love him anylonger. He was IN love with
him. Chandler curled up into a ball, forehead resting on to his knees.
How could he have let this happen? He was turning into his father and he was hating every
second of it. The only thing he did not despise this transformation was that it was Joey
that he fell in love with. Joey was a good guy, a man he would never let go. The only thing
Chandler feared of was Joey not accepting this love. Chandler prayed this was only a
phase. Nothing more than a spark of lonliness.

theDuckandtheChick

Once in the bathroom Joey took off his shirt only to gasp and hold in a scream of pain. A
little too fast on the jerking movement, but he was in a hurry! The sooner he got in the
shower the sooner he could make himself a sandwich! What was Chandler's deal anyway?
Why was he acting so weird? "Oo...!" Joey jerked his head back after eyeing the dark
bruises on his chest and stomach, or rather the one large bruise that seemed to wrap itself
around his body like a snake with little sprouts of tiny bruise offspring. He didn't even want
to look at his back at this point.

The shower was rather normal, except the duck was in there... "Oh so you want to get
clean too? Alright." He grinned before starting his ten minute shower. The soothing,
stinging, warm water was greatly appreciated by both the duck, and Joey. Once they were
both finished Joey dried himself off and fastened the towel around his waste before
scooping up the duck and using a different towel to dry it off gently. "There you go!"

Moments later he finished with the ointment over the bruises and got his clothes on before
hurrying over to the frige like it was going to save his life. He pulled out the classic
sandwich ingrediants until he came to the mustard. "Gaaah!" He pulled back from the duck
taped thing and stared at it longingly. He wanted the mustard, but he didn't feel like
defeating the ducktape in a battle of epic proportions again like he did for Chandler's
sandwhich last night. He went to get the mayo but alas, no mayo. "How am I gonna make
a sandwhich without mayonaise?" He asked himself dissapointedly. "It's just not the same
without mayo..." He said while taking out the sour cream and smearing it on the bread
before putting lettus, cheese, bacon? How long had that been in there? "Why haven't I
eaten this yet?" He asked before putting the bacon in his sandwhich. He tossed in some
left over KFC chicken, not bothering to take out the bones since he wasn't really thinking
that far ahead. He tossed on some more lettus before dumping left over coslah and
refried beans onto the sandwich fallowed by halapino peppers and more cheese.... He
looked at the mustard one more time, then back to his sandwhich before groaning. "Curse
you mustard...." He sighed while putting the top on his sandwhich.

The first bite ripped around the bone of the chicken however the sandwhich quickly fell
appart. "...." Quickly Joey pulled out a plastic spork from some random drawer and tried to
eat his sandwhich with the help of the plastic utensil.


Every Breath You Take...
Chandler wiped away the excess tears that he had left after the silent cry and sniffled. Only
crying was making him less a man, at least that's what he proposed. He wish this never
happened. It all started with his work, damn his work to hell! Chandler sniffled some more
as he crawled from the door to his bed. The sound of the chicken lingered around him, the
soft boks in the room. Chandler's eyes gazed around the room, cautiously he moved
closer to bed, afraid he would be bombarded by the chicken.
At last, the chicken made itself known by quickly trotting it's way out from under the bed.
Chandler quickly took hold of the chicken and rested it in his lap, petting the foul's head
gently. "Chicken, why can't I be like you? Hide under beds and look through porn maga-
zines every day and not have to worry about love." He released the chicken to let it roam
throughout the room. "If I stay in here, Joey would surely be worried about me. I got to
suck it in and not think about it, right?" he aimlessly spoke to the chicken, whom had no
idea to what the human was saying. It merely squaked. "Yeah, you're right. I'll get out of
the room and talk to him...ask him about...gay things..." he blushed and rubbed his
face. "Who am I kidding? I'm gay!" He stood up and quickly moved his way out of the
room, making sure to step over the chicken and not on it.
He exited his room to find Joey stabbing a spork into the messed up contents of a sand-
wich. "Hey buddy, had a good shower?" he cringed to the opening of the conversation. He
awkwardly made his way up the counter, taking his seat in the stool. "Uhm, Joey. Can I
ask you a hypothetical question?" his smile was little and awkward, almost fearful.

Every Breath You Take...
Chandler lifted his head, opening his mouth to recite the long story to the girls, for he
caved; however, the sharp sound of the door flying open caught everyone within the flat
off guard. Chandler peered over Rachael's figure to take a look of who would be intruding
in such an awful manner, and was not surprised that it was Joey. What did confounded
Chandler was that Joey was soaking wet, had stains of coffee that normal Rachael, Monica,
Ross, and himself would have, and something within the other's hand. 'When did he leave?'
Chandler questioned within his mind, tilting his head with a unbelievable expression upon
his face.
"What--why--Joey! Why are you so wet???" Rachael blurted out before Chandler could and
just after Pheobe asked the very same quiry. Monica nodded her head, silently asking the
very same question. "A-and yes, we were, but you guys were gone all day yesterday and
we--Monica thought you guys were dead," Rachael hastely spoke up, scratching the side
of her head before crossing her arms tightly over her chest.
"WHAT!? I didn't think they were dead, you did!" Monica huffed.
"Whatever," Rachael snorted and turned her attention back to the drenched Joey.
Chandler glanced up to Monica and Rachael before standing to his feet. He was still wond-
ering when exactly Joey had take his leave? Usually the clumsy oaf would start a racket
and startle Chandler from whatever he would be doing. Suddenly, during his flashbacks
from eariler events that Joey made a racket as he attempting to sneak away, Joey leaned
over and whispered something Chandler didn't quite understand at first glance. He lowered
his brows, eyes shifting the ground. 'What?? What's all right?' He looked up to Joey, then
to Rachael, noticing the woman wouldn't give up until she would get her story. 'She should
really work as a reporter or something...she's annoying!'
"Wait, wait. Joey, no, you can't do that," Rachael spoke up quickly after Joey brought up
their lack of mayonase within the men's fridge, besiding the long story.
"Yeah, you can't just do that," Monica followed up after Rachael.
Suddenly, Chandler injerjected between the two women, "Oh yes he can!" He nodded his
head to the women who looked at him. "Right, buddy?" Chandler pulled off a hesitant grin
to Joey, then returned back to the girls. "Joey and I need to dicuss important guy matters,
like you girls do with your PMSing. Well, we guys have our own...PMSing..." Chandler
awkwardly looked away. "Forget that last part and move," he began to push Monica and
Rachael out, shoving them by their backs towards the door. He didn't bother with Pheobe
as she was following Chandler like a sad puppy. "Thank you for everything. Goodday sir--
ma'ams..." he opened the door and roughly pushed out Monica and Rachael. He bid his
goodbyes to Pheobe as she exited as she had to him. He quickly closed the door and
locked it--just in case the girls were in a resilient mood today.
Quickly, he spun on his heels to Joey and lifted up his hands in the air, "What was that
whispering about!?" he shouted as he motioned his hand roughly to the recliner chair he
was sitting in when Joey barged within their flat.


theDuckandtheChick

"Well it's wet outside and I was outside, I got wet." He grinned while taking off his coat and
the tie. He watched as the girls kept snapping at him, trying to ask him why he was wet.

"Hey, yeah you can't do that!" Pheobe said while walking over to the other two girls. "Wait,
why can't he do that?" She asked while staring at Monica and Racheal curiously.

He felt like he was being interigated or something. Slowly his mind trailed off to this movie
he auditioned for where he played as a detective named Ryan Stone. He sighed and
remembered wishing he'd got that part. The problem was he tried it with a really cool
acsent like in all those mafia movies, and they said he sounded too much like a bad guy
and he was supposed to be the good guy, that he wasn't being believable enough or
something like that... He sighed and asked about the mayonase before the two girls
snapped at him.

His head jerked towards Chandler, completely relieved that he was pulling him out of
this. "O-oh yeah! Yeah right! Happens all the time!" He nodded like Chandler was 100%
justified in saying that he could do this, putting in the occational 'Yeah' to emphasize
Chandler's point as he tried to explain to the girls that they needed to talk. Joey
continued nodding until about a second after Chanlder said PMSing. "Yeah! ...wait what?"

He leaned over to Chanlder. "Okay you lost me there." He whispered with this weird look
on his face, rasing his eye brow and widening his eyes in confusion.

"Oh, right yeah I get it, if you guys were constipated you should've just said something.
Joey probably went to go get some pills for Chandler." She said while walking after
Chandler and the girls. Joey rose a brow, fallowing after Pheobe and the other girls.
Suddenly Pheobe leaned over to Joey. "Seriously, whats going on?" She whispered.

"I think Chandler wants to talk about guy stuff." He whispered back.

"Oh okay! Alright well bye then we'll see you tonight for poker, I'll tell the rat babies you
said hi!" She said before walking out after Monica and Racheal.

Joey blinked once they were all gone. "PMSing?" He asked with his hands on his hips and
his head tilted to the side. He was looking at Chandler like the guy was a little off balance
however the look was quickly replaced with this all knowing grin when Chandler asked
about the whispering. "Well I went down to the WENIS department today, long story short
they fixed the problem and I'm going to do a comercail for Cocacola!" He said proudly.

"Unfortunately I forgot to get milk and mayo while I was out so I was serious when I asked
them if they brought any Mayo over, and the milk thats in there needs to be thrown out."
He said seriously, like they were about to go on a rather important mission to try and find
more milk that wasn't chunky.


Every Breath You Take...
Chandler rolled his eyes to Joey's questioning of PMSing. "I don'tknowmuch about women &
their problems! It was the only thing I could think of!" Obviously, the man was anxious and
somewhat excited. He wanted to know what Joey was talking about, it could've meant
anything. Chandler moved closer to Joey after he answered his and waited for Joey to
answer the other question. He practically an inch away from Joey, eyebrow lifting in the
curiousity. Within a second's notice, Joey released the information and Chandler nearly
collasped.
"Oh god," he covered his face with both of his hands. "Oh god, you got my fired," he
whimpered, finding himself to lean his upper-body on top of the counter, stomach flat on
the surface. Of course, there was no way Chandler knew if Joey did get him fired or did
not; however, he assumed so as Joey bought up something "good" to talk about after he
spoke of the WENIS. Chandler whimpered and moaned, before he snapped back into his
full height. "Why couldn't you wait like I was waiting!? Why did you go and mak--" the
phone rang.
His eyes moved from Joey's to the phone, and cautiously he approached him. He was
afraid that this was the call of Chandler's retirement from the place where he worked for
years. Chandler picked up the phone slowly and placed it against his ear, "U-Uhm h-hello?"
He looked up to Joey, flashing him a glare, "Yes, this is him." Took only a second for
Chandler's face to lit up, "Really? That's wonderful. Thank you sir. No thank you--oh, uh-
huh...no you don't want Joey to work for you...no sir, he has his own business working as
a great actor. Yes. Thank you once again, sir." Chandler grinned, eyes shimmering with
delight as he placed the phone on the hook. He licked his lips slowly--unintentionally, of
course--and turned his body to Joey, arms unfolding to each side. "Come here buddy!"
He shouted, and without a warning Chandler leapt into the air and wrapped his arms around
Joey's waist. Kisses bloomed to Joey's cheek, several of them at once. Chandler nustled
his face into Joey's neck, still hugging him tightly around the waist. "I can't believe you,
you're so great. I love you."

theDuckandtheChick
"Well you should learn to read a magazine every now and then, it's not rocket science
Chandler." He said pleasently after his friend stated that he didn't know about girls. Really,
how did Chandler survive colledge? Then again he hadn't been as interested in girls as he
use to be... maybe Chandler just wasn't into girls? No, that'd be too easy now wouldn't it?

As Chandler moved closer and closer Joey seemed prouder and prouder of his brief story,
only to frown when Chandler began scolding him for not waiting. "What? No I didn't get you
fired!" He tried to say while moving towards Chandler who was on the ground, only to leap
backwards when Chandler snapped at him for not waiting. Instinctively Joey grabbed a
barstool and used it like a sheild to keep Chandler away. "I-I-I just thought that it would
help!!" He tried to say with a flinch. Lucky for him the phone rang. They stared at the
phone in silence for a few seconds before Joey frowned at that glare, looking at his friend
like a wounded puppy or something as he started talking on the phone.

With a sigh of relief he put the chair down before rubbing at the side of his head. A sly grin
crossed him when he realized that Chandler's boss was on the phone. Good, somebody
could explain that he didn't screw up. He held his arms out with this brilliant child-like
smile, trying to say 'I TOLD YOU!' without interupting the phone call. He went to the kitchen
and pulled out some feed for the duck and the chick as Chandler started talking about how
he was a great actor, something about how he didn't need a job. "Job?" Joey repeated to
himself. "In a place called the WENIS department?" He laughed to himself while filling the
dishes with food. Chandler finished talking on the phone just as Joey finished putting the
feed away. "Am I great or what?! Huh?" He asked proudly while walking towards the
recliners. He paused to watch Chandler lick his lips of course, and once again, caught
himself thinking about them in relation to his own.

"Uh Chandler, can we take it easy with the huggIN-" Too late, Chandler just dive bombed
him which made him crash to the floor. Wet lips pressed against his cheeks in a panic
frenzy, being squeezed to death, bones aching, muscles throbbing, face heating up from
the kissing... "Chandler-CHANDLER!" He tried not to wince at the tight hug around the
waste and he couldn't help but smile at how happy he'd made his best buddy. "Chandler I
got hit by a-..." He blinked staring at Chandler with this weird look when he finished his
sentense. "Uuuuuuuh... your welcome?" He blinked confusedly not sure if that was the
right thing to say. His face was either ghostly pale or completely red, though Joey prayed
he was more pale then red. Maybe it was both and it canceled out so he looked normal!

With difficulty, and slight pain, Joey scrambled out from under Chandler. He pointed at
Chandler with a silent eep. "You said the L word!" Inside Joey was jumping around for joy
and screaming with glee. He couldn't do that on the outside could he? Instead he
managed a silly and accusing grin.


Every Breath You Take...
Chandler had loosen his grasp around Joey's waist to able the scurrying man to go free;
however, Chandler's face was still lighten up with joy and that grin was staying plastered.
He quickly went to his hands and knees, closing the distance between the two friends. "Duh,
I love you man. Y-you're the best," Chandler glomped Joey once again, nuzzling his face
into Joey's chest. He pulled the other into one last tight hug before he pulled himself off
the male. Excitement was still lingering around Chandler's heart, but he managed to cool
it down slightly to have him be apart from Joey. "Why? Don't you love me back?" Chandler
questioned.
At this moment, Chandler was implying love as best-friends. Although, within Chandler's
mind he cried out, telling himself to stop saying 'love'. Chandler clearly wasn't certain
why his mind was forcing himself to stop. Moments eariler, Chandler wanted to be held by
his friend, hand running through his hair. Then it hit him. He was, himself, implying that
he love-loved Joey...like a girlfriend would love her boyfriend--in this case, boyfriend loving
his boyfriend.
Chandler literally flew backwards to his bum, eyes wide. "IN A FRIEND WAY OF COURSE!!"
Chandler shouted, pulling up his index finger to duplicate the same position Joey had
before. He pointed his shakey finger at Joey, whole body shuddering. His face turned
pale with red, flaming cheeks of blushing.

Wow Joey thought. He was lucky he didn't actually say that out loud. In reality he was still
by the recliner, dwelling on what he could do. The sinario that played out in his head
sounded like he might've only made Chandler feel worse rather than better. Should he
have just gone in and sat there with him for a while?

...no... Finally Joey decided that everything he could've done wouldn't have been helpful to
Chandler's situation. He stood there like a moron for a few more moments before
walking towards his own bedroom. He paused at the door, then slinked over to Chandler's
door and peered inside, eyeing the Chicken and the Duck, who were perched against
Chandler's legs, half on the bed, half off. Dispite this incredibly serious situation, Joey
couldn't help but wonder how the heck they actually got on the bed.

He opened his mouth to say something, then just closed it and decided it wasn't good
enough. Nothing was good enough at this moment. Instead he turned and silently
dragged himself to his own room before closing the door. He sat on the ground against the
wall that was closest to Chandler's room and just thought while staring at his folded hands
thoughtfully, trying to think about what he could've done...

Every Breath You Take...
He wasn't sure if he fell asleep in the first place; he felt tired but he felt awake, aware that
of the farm birds squaking away. He curled his knees further in till each cap was touching
his chest; his heart pounded in fear, blood quickly moving through his ears, he felt sad and
angered at the same time. He was beating himself up...He felt like crawling into a hole and
rotting away slowly, the pain of those people whom lost their houses tonight was returned
back to him. Chandler wanted to cry and was able to, but the thing stopping him was
whether he was awake or not.

Soon enough, he knew; the telephone rang sharply through the silent flat, Chandler jerked
his legs to the chiming sound that entered in his ears. He pushed off the blankets, leaping
from the bed to the ground a foot from the bed and he was an inch away from falling on
the birds. He quickly regained his balance and dashed to the phone; he tripped over Joey's
shoes, falling face first on the ground. He groaned lightly to the pain, realizing that the
phone was still ringing while he was laying helplessly on the floor. Soon as he stood up to
his full height, the phone seized its chime. "Hey! No!" He picked up the phone, "Hello?
Hello?" Silence. "No! Call again! I'm here, call again!" he yelled into the phone. After the
whole commotion, he dropped the phone back on the hook. His tired body leaned on the
white counter, head slowly lowering itself to the countertop.

The door swung open and the three girls came in; Monica held out her hand to point at
Chandler as her look was on Rachael. "I told you that weren't dead."

Rachael looked away slowly, "I NEVER said that they were...I was assuming."

"Either way, they're not dead--" Monica looked back to Chandler, seeing the man in large
sulk in which you could find Ross in. "Hey, what's wrong?" Monica cooed, moving pass the
two girls and made her way to the man sulking on the counter. The two girls followed
Monica, repeating the first's words in the same cooing tone. "Why aren't you at work?"

Chandler bite his lower lip, stopping a short cry in his reaction; he moved away from the
the three and went to the recliners. Chandler began to feel crushed, hoping no one would
come around asking, asking about his failures. He only wanted to curl up back in his bed
or lean on Joey and cry into his shoulder. He didn't want anyone else to know, he only
wanted Joey. He only wanted Joey.

theDuckandtheChick

It had to have been one hour after Chandler went to bed that Joey finally slid outside. He
was wearing jeans, a coat, his best shirt and a tie... that he "borrowed" from Ross... He
slinked into Chanlders room before kneeling down by the bed. He stared at the two
animals before looking to Chandler who appeared to be sleeping. "Hey don't worry
alright?" He asked smoothy while rubbing a gentle hand through his hair. "I'm gonna
make this better." He whispered before standing up. He tried to walk off carefully only to
trip over the shoes he left in their earlier. Luckily he caught himself on the dresser, and for
the first time in his life he didn't break something in his feeble atempt to stay standing.
He moved up off his knees and stared at the dresser like it had just saved his life.
"Thaaaaankyooooouuu" He whispered loudly before hearing a soft 'quack' fallowed by a
'bok?' He turned and stared at the duck and the chick. "Shhh! Keep him busy while I'm
gone! Do whatever you have to do, just stall him!" he whispered like they were going to be
his only hope of leaving or something.

Once outside Joey realized it was snowing. He quickly decided he should've been wearing
different shoes. Not like that would do any good now right? He just steped in a puddle that
had melted and he wasn't feeling to happy about it! The sun was up, the cars were angry
at eachother, life was carrying on dispite his friends trauma. "Yeash why can't it be like in
the movies? It should be raining and everyone should be sad!" Suddenly a taxi zoomed
past him, splashing him with a puddle of melted water. He spit some of the frozen liquid
out of his mouth. "...well at least I don't feel weird about water being in my left sock
anymore..." He said in an 'oh well' tone.

It didn't take long to get to where Chandler worked, however it took far too much effort to
get inside and get to Chandler's office, and sneek past security, and run his fat ass into
the butt slapper's office. "Hello my name is Jo... R-ross! My name is Ross and I'm here on
Joey's behalf! I mean Chandler's behalf! I mean.. Chandler, yeah, Joey, great looking guy
that Joey."

"...Are you straight?"

"No! Yes! I mean! Don't ask me that."

"Are you puffing the magic dragon?!"

"Yes! I mean no! I mean... Uuuh, look Chandler feels really bad about what happened
and he's worried about the family that lost their house and I need to know what's going on
or if the problems fixed alright?"

"Hmm..."

~*~

Almost on cue Joey stumbled into the apartment with a groan. He was soaking wet, had
coffee spilled all over his shirt, and a napkin with a phone number crumpled in his hand.
He blinked twice upon seeing the girls in the apartment before peering over at Chandler.
"What didn't he answer the phone?"

"OH THANK GOD YOUR ALRIGHT! I THOUGHT YOU WHERE DEAD!" Pheobe said while
tackling Joey into a hug. "Your wet." She pushed him away. "Why are you wet?"

"Hello to you too!" He grinned broadly before walking over to the recliner where Monica and
Rachael were trying to get Chandler to tell them what was going on. "Hey Monica, Rachael,
wern't we meeting later tonight?" He asked confusedly before eyeing Chandler. He leaned
over to Chandler's ear and whispered "Everythings fine, stop Rossing on us" He whispered
quickly with a rather silly grin splashed on his face before he backed up.

"Joey, why are you soaking wet?"

"Long story, I'll explain later did anybody bring the mayonase over cause we are out!" He
said in a 'lemme tell ya something important' tone.

Every Breath You Take...
Chandler had taken the plate of food and examined the contains around the sandwich
before he'd actually picked it up. Joey probably made a fantastic sandwich, and Chandler
wouldn't care...frankly, his mind was on the WENIS. Something had been bothering him
ever since he left the office, but he couldn't figure out why. The person inside of him was
dying to know, but his mind wanted to lay off work for now and just eat and sleep. He could
only get five or six hours of sleep before returning to his office with the large view. Chandler
took a bite aimlessly out of the sandwich and ate it only to keep his stomach from growling.
The taste was meaningless, the hard work was nothing, and secret love placed into the
sandwich was worthless. It was just something to keep Chandler going and sadly, he didn't
really enjoy it...which made him not hungry.

Chandler placed the plate on the nightstand, took one last bite from the sandwich--which
adds up to four bites--and than placed it on top of the plate. Chandler undressed himself
from the nice suit and threw on an old shirt and a pair of boxers; he removed the nice socks
and tossed it on the pile of his nice clothes, then switched the socks for the ones with holes
on the bottom. His body dropped hard on his bed, forcing it to creak slightly to his almost
dead weight. He curled on the mattress, feeling his muscles relax...which brought him only
more pain. He groaned gently, wishing he was like Joey, lazing around half of the time and
only doing skits for horrible plays. Chandler nuzzled his head into the pillow, 'At least I'm
proud of him...' he released a yawn, slowly closing his eyes. He wanted to sleep and soon,
he would get it.

The phone rang from the kitchen and Chandler snapped opened his eyes. Those blood
shot eyes slowly went to the door, seeing the kitchen from where his bed was. He knew who
that was and regretted it. Something did go wrong with the WENIS, he was sure. Chandler
leapt from the bed and dashed to the kitchen, pushing Joey out of the way from the phone
to answer it himself. "Hello?" Chandler hoarse, tired voice spoke up. "Yes, yes. I understand
sir. I know, I had a feeling--well, I wasn't sure, everyone seemed to be--right sir, I was
wrong to listen to them. Yes, all right then. I apologize for my mistak--yes, sir...Y-you're a
woman? O-oh I'm really sorry si-ma'am...yes...Thank you." Chandler slowly hung up the
phone; he licked his lips before he sighed heavily. "Damn it..." Chandler glanced up to
Joey, giving him a half-hearted smirk, then he turned away. "I'm not going into work
tomorrow. They've suspended me with pay...I messed up, Joe..." Chandler went around to
the front of the right recliner and dropped into it. "My God, I knew something wasn't right,
but I was too tired to even put any effort in to look at it..." his hands went to his face in
shame, rubbing his eyes from their tired mess. No hand massages could relieve the major
headache that was forming. He leaned back into the recliner, the end popping up for his
feet. "I messed up," Chandler repeated.

the Chick and the Duck

In the midst of his plotting the phone rang out causing Joey to jump sligtly. He shifted
and glared to the phone before draggng himself over to it. "I'm comin I'm comin..." He
grumbled. "Alright, I hear you, stop with the noise!" He ordered only to be bowled over by
Chandler. He ended up tripping over generally nothing. After a moment of scrambling he
stood up and slinked towards the recliner while keeping a careful ear on what Chandler
was saying to whomever on the other side of the phone. With a perked brow Joey
revolved on his heel towards the clock on the stove. 2:49AM. He eyed Chandler once
more with this puzzled expression as he seemed to get scolded by a loud, very loud,
deep voice on the other line.

Joey sat on the counter and tried to figure out what was going on and why they were calling
Chandler so early. This wasn't even ethical was it? He blinked when his friend said 'sir' and
apparently, it turned out to be a woman. Chandler always had the worse luck with that.
Trying to be polite and end up insulting them. "What happened?" Joey asked after
Chandler had hung up the phone. Suspended?! "What?" Joey asked, a tad confused.
"Whaaat?" He asked after Chandler mentioned messing up. He watched his friend drag
himself over to the recliner and plop right down on it like a heavy sack of cement.

Joey frowned deeply as Chandler went on about his epic 'failure'. He moved over to
the other and rubbed his shouler comfortingly. "Hey man, they got you working eighteen
hour days... sometimes more, it's not your fault. You're exhausted, you need a chance to
crash too ya know?" He tried to comfort with a half-hearted smile, though he knew
Chandler would refuse to believe the fault didn't drop on him. He was always so paranoid,
it was part of his charm.

He wrapped his arms around Chandler, sort of, after the poor guy had burried his face in
his hands. "Come on, it's not your fault. Dude, since when was it a crime to be really
tired?" Joey teased, trying to lighten the mood with a half chuckle though he didn't persue
with his rather lame jokes. Joey pondered a tad on what he could do to make Chandler
feel better. He pulled away and turned towards the kitchen, dissapearing behind the open
refrigerator doors for a matter of moments. He returned with two beers, one for him and
one for his best friend. He hoped that maybe that would cheer him up a bit.

Joey sat down on the left recliner and sighed softly, wondering if there was anything else
that could've been done for his best friend at the moment... wondering if he wasn't just
making things worse by not saying the right thing or doing the right thing...
Every Breath You Take...
Chandler was half-way listening to Joey's words, unable to even accept them. To even care
anymore. His hands were shaken with fear, his whole blood was running cold in the paranoia
of what he let happened. His lips trembled to hide the anger, the sadness that no man
would show over his work--execpt Ross. Chandler breathed heavily in and out, listening to
the raging heart that beated in his chest more over Joey's words. Chandler's heart spoke
more...practically shouted out. A tangled mess. He wanted cry. His mind whined and did
what it wanted as his body did what it wanted; he took the cold beer bottle from Joey,
holding it was a firm grip as if he was choking it.

"I could be fired, man..." Chandler dropped the beer bottle from his hand, letting it crash
to the floor unharmed. He leaned forward, placing his tearing eyes into his hands; he
cupped his flushed face, heaving sighs of a silent cry. Chandler never knew this job meant
so much to him...maybe it wasn't the job, maybe it was the people who would be harmed
in what he did. He imagined two little sisters being kicked out of their house because he
had messed up the WENIS. Chandler knew his company WASN'T that big, but he worked
with money and money was everything. His face pulled out from behind his hands, his
fingers roughly sliding down his cheeks. "If I was suspended with pay...then it must be
really....really bad. If it wasn't...they would've just told me tomorrow morning. Jesus, Joe,
I never...never knew I-I could..." he trailed off, afraid to admit the mistake he had made.
His gleaming eyes shifted to Joey, "Sweatpants." He stood up slowly and sluggishly moved
to his bed room; his head was sulking down, body shifting in a sheepish manner. The
chick and the duck exited from the bathroom and quickly hurried to Chandler's room to
give him the comfort only animals could. Chandler left the door opened, unable to use
his strength on such a task; Chandler dropped like a cement block on his bed, curling in
his body among the mattress. He was tired, but he couldn't fall asleep. A rotting plant
unable to die.

the Chick and the Duck

Joey frowned deeply as Chandler left the room. He watched the duck and the chicken,
whom must've woken up during all the fuss, waddle over to the other's bedroom. He
looked down helplessly for a moment or two, debating on whether or not to go in. Chandler
needed him, right? But... at the same time, he knew there was only so much he could do
without rising any conusing questions for now. The poor guy was under alot of stress... Alot
of stress... He fumbled with his own unopened bottle of beer and just twirreled the bottle in
his hand while staring at the bottle that Chandler dropped on the floor. It seemed to just
roll a tad towards his foot before stopping there.

Joey put Chandler's beer on the table, along with his own before looking to the door. He
got up and moved towards it slowly only to stop a few feet before it and turn around,
rubbing at the back of his head while silently walking back towards the recliners. Joey's
feet planted in the ground right where Chandler was sitting moments ago. He rested his
arms on the head of the recliner before placing his chin behind his arms so his eyes
could peer out passed the telivision screen.

It really wasn't Chandler's fault, though he understood (barely) that Chandler's job
affected alot of people that neither of them knew or would ever likely meet... Well
Chandler had a better chance of meeting them than he did... right?

Joey walked right over to the door and boldly annouced: "If they didn't fix it already you
would've been fired." A knowing look. "It was probably just really hard and complicated to
fix and they managed to catch the error by mistake before something bad could happen,
now they have to double check your work and they're just annoyed!"

Every Breath You Take...
Chandler was caught off guard by Joey's sudden awaken, Chandler had no time to prepare
for the impact Joey had on him..literally. Chandler's back was against the floor, arms and
legs sprawled out, one of his fingers twitched to the heavy weight that suddenly was on top
of him. He croaked once during Joey's absently comment...Jesus, Joey may look thin with
that quick metabolism...but actually the guy was rather HEAVY. Chandler paid no attention
to what Joey was saying, he rather be urging the man to get off than listen to his crazy
cracks. He attempted to push the man off, hands clenching to Joey's biceps in a rough
pushes. It was then when Joey finally decided to take his giant load off Chandler. Yet again,
Joey started to speak absently and Chandler paid no attention...until dinner was in the
conversation.

"I think I do need something to full my stomach...since you practically crushed everything
within it." Chandler stood up straight slowly, rubbing his stomach a bit. "You're rather heavy,
big guy--oh, before you go and make me something, why the hell are you in my room
with my shirt. I know I have an attractive scent--" he stated with a prideful tone. "--But it's
not like one of those Febreze commericals..." his look became rather disturbed, but he
shook it off quickly. "In anycase, just a sandwich, thanks a lot buddy. I'm going to be
changing, so let me know when it's ready." Even if Joey was still around in his room, he
began to take off his dress shirt to reveal his rather creamy flesh. He gave Joey was quick
smirk before throwing off the shirt and removing his belt from his pants. The smirk that he
flashed was nothing more than another 'thanks', but some may take it as a seductive
suggestion--even Chandler found his "smirk" seductive...but in reality, he wasn't sure if
he was using it as any suggestion...or was he? Chandler turned away from Joey with a
questionable look upon himself. What the heck IS he thinking!? Chandler knew people
saw him as a "gay" man, but he wasn't! He liked breasts and viginas! Not dicks! His face
became more flushed, hands shaking and unsettled; during his little "spazz" he managed
to break his zipper on his pants. He felt the metal piece break from the zipper and in the
process, scratched his thumb. "Shit..." he looked down at the zipper piece within his palm
and pouted. 'These were my good pants...damn it...' He turned around towards the open
door, not caring of what incidents occured before--most likely forgot about them. "Hey
Joey, I need your help with something!"

“I-I thought this was my room!” Joey stammered. “Stop picking on me!” he whined
helplessly before smiling faintly to his friend. “Okay Chandler, just hold on a minute
you’ll get your sandwich.” Joey said, in a much better mood. Either Chandler was too
tired to be upset and mock him, or Chandler truly wasn’t upset with him for not doing so
well in today’s interview. Either way, the other made him happy by seeming so
understanding this early in the morning.

For a moment Joey ended up just standing there, staring at Chandler absently when he
took off his shirt. What was with that smirk? “U-uh…” Was Chandler sending a flirtatious
smile his way? Normally he’d give that kind of smirk before saying, or while saying, ‘how
you doin?’… He began to walk out, but not without taking one last glance at that rather
handsome build. Chandler’s skin almost looked longing to be massaged, rubbed,
touched, lathered, whatever. God damn it Joey! You-are-a-straight-man! You do not
think like this! Especially about Chandler, this is weird and unnatural! He’s your best
friend! You don’t want to ruin that do you?

Everything seemed normal at first when Joey got out all the supplies. The bread, the
meat, the mayo, the mustard, the lettuce, tomatoes, onion, cheese, whipped cream… He
blinked a few times and tried to remember that Chandler didn’t really care for the
whipped cream or strawberries on his sandwich. Absently he began making the sandwich
only to suddenly have trouble with the mustard. He blinked and held it up to his face with
one eye closed before squeezing gently, then really hard, then with all his might.
Suddenly the bottle broke within his hands, getting mustard pretty much everywhere.
“Um…” He put the mustard down and scrounged around for the duck tape. “Ah ha!” He
ripped a piece of duck tape with his teeth only to get it stuck on the side of his face. In a
bit of a panic, Joey tried to rip another piece of duck tape off only to get it stuck to his
arm and shirt. “Nyah!” He pulled another piece of duck tape and found that his hands
were occupied at the moment. He twitched slightly. “Bad tape!” he hissed in a whisper
while crouching down on the kitchen tile. He put his foot on the tape and tried to rip it
apart before grinning broadly. “Ha!” He stood up only to realize the tape had sock fuzz
all over it now. “Hmm…” He put his thumb on the end of the tape, and then picked up the
mustard bottle before he began wrapping the roll of tape around his hand and the
mustard. “Ha! I win!” He grinned broadly. When the mustard was tapped together he
began to screw off the top to be able to spread it easier only to realize it still had the
little white label over the mouth. In short, it was a brand new bottle that had never been
opened before. “Oh, well now you tell me!” He scoffed at the mustard like it was the
bottle’s fault or something.

After putting the finishing touch of mustard on the sandwich Joey put the mustard away
and closed the refrigerator. He went to pick up a knife to cut the sandwich but the
mustard bottle hit the knife to the floor. “RAH!?” He looked around frantically then back
to the mustard which was tapped to his hand before mouthing the word ‘WHY!?’ Joey
crashed to the floor in a panic before spotting the knife. Desperately he grabbed it
before slamming his hand on the counter. Quickly Joey began to saw at the tape with the
knife as quickly as he possibly could. The second his hand was free he sighed in relief.
“Righty I thought I’d never see you again.” He kissed his hand while rubbing it gently
before eyeing the nearly completed sandwich. He blinked twice and quickly started fixing
the sandwich, forgetting about the various duck tape sections that were currently spread
about his body.

‘Hey Joey, I need your help with something’

“Ah, coming!” Absently Joey grabbed the knife and cut the sandwich in half before
getting out a napkin. He washed his hands again to get all the mustard remains off
before eyeing the mustard. “I’ll be back to deal with you later.” He said warningly before
taking the plate to the bedroom. “Uh… hey what happened to your thumb?” He put the
plate down on the bed while taking Chandler’s hand absently to inspect the minor injury.
“Eh.” He almost put the thumb in his own mouth to get the blood off, but caught himself
before it even looked like he was going to do that. Instead he moved the thumb up to his
eye before taking the napkin and wrapping it around the small crimson spot. “I’ll go get
a band aid.” Joey said groggily. Perhaps if it wasn’t so early in the morning, he would
have remembered that him and Chandler were grown men and they no longer required
such childish things for boo boos… well Chandler didn’t. Joey sometimes bought the ones
with the little cartoon characters on them. “What did you want help with?” Joey asked
from the bathroom on his side before walking back into the room with a small plain
bandaid which he then proceeded to wrap around Chandler’s finger. Again he was a little
too tired to realize Chandler’s dilemma.

Chandler rose both of his eyebrows when Joey came in looking like a mess...as always
after he's left alone without supervision. Chandler perked his lips out in the wonder if he
WANTED Joey's help, it looked like he could use A LOT of help himself. Chandler took a
single glance at Joey's face when the other was inspecting his thumb, the rest of the time
he managed to pull out the details from the mess that was all over him. Mustard stains
all about his shirts and ducktape stuck to different areas among his body. Chandler licked
his lips once before biting his lower lip gently. He finally concluded he really wouldn't want
to ask for Joey's help or there would be ducktape all along his pants. Having the zipper
broke was bad enough on these pricey pants, but having ducktape to ruin it was crossing
the line. Once he had concluded his decision, Joey returned with a bandaid, and even if he
had a picture of what happened to Joey, he couldn't stop looking at the terrible mess...a
mess that only Joey could get into...and out of it? Nobody knows how.

"Nah, it's nothing...looks like you got your own set of problems," Chandler perked his lips
out once again, eyes glancing at the ducktape. "I thought strawberry and whip cream was
bad enough on a sandwich but it seems that you seemed that you created something far
worse than that...a yummy ducktape sandwich~" he scrastically spoke up. 'My cracks are
horrible in midst of the morning.' Chandler released a heavy sigh, "Look man, I just want
to eat something before I go to bed; I might not be able to eat breakfast, I have to go in
early to get the WENIS to lower itself." He heard the perverseness within the sentence but
had no engery to correct himself...at all.

“Hmm?” Joey eyed Chandler then himself. “What? Oh.” He smiled sheepishly. “I assure you, there is
no duck tape in that sandwich!” He said proudly while pointing to the sandwich that rested on the
bed. “I didn’t put any strawberries or whipped cream on it either!” He added with this proud, yet
foolish grin sloshed upon his face. He pulled his own shirt off while exiting the room before pulling
some duck tape off his face and hand. He slinked into his own room and tossed his shirt in the
laundry, grabbing a new one to play as his night shirt. Normally he slept either nude or just in boxers
however he knew he wouldn’t be getting all too much sleep now. He was half awake and talking to
Chandler sort of.

“You’re leaving early tomorrow?” He called from his room before moving back to the other’s room.
He couldn’t help the tinge of sadness on his face. Chandler was always working so hard! He feels so
distant. Joey couldn’t help but think while watching him from the door frame. He didn’t even catch
the WENIS comment that he made. The only thing he could think of was that WENIS was your elbow.
“Well I’m gonna leave you to your sandwich.” Joey said hesitantly. He wanted to stay, maybe just sit
there and watch Chandler however, Chandler was undressing and this was making him feel either
really uncomfortable or a little excited. Whichever, he didn’t want to deal with it this early in the
morning, especially if his best friend had to get up later.

Sadly Joey headed back to the kitchen to take care of the mustard situation. He took out a pair of
pliers and began using then to wrap the mustard bottle in duck tape so he didn’t have to use his hands
before he put the duck tape and mustard into the refrigerator. I wish he wasn’t working all the time…
Joey thought to himself while grabbing a blanket and plopping down on one of the two recliners. He
turned on the TV but muted it so Chandler wouldn’t have to hear it. He just wanted to watch
something. While surfing channels he came across some rather graphic late night porn. Two minutes
in he found himself… uninterested. This wasn’t like him. Two hot girls were making out right before
his eyes and touching each other and… he didn’t care. Lately his old taste in porn hadn’t been
effecting him like it used to. He changed the channel and ended up with the original texas chain saw
massacre.

He imagined Ross sitting on the couch, telling him that he would get nightmares or be afraid to sleep
for a few weeks again if he watched something like this. He also imagined being amused for a little
while so he ignored the little Ross in the back of his mind and began watching it while snuggling into
a blue blanket. He was hoping it would distract him, however… his thoughts where on Chandler again.
And why?! He didn’t have a clue as to why! He’s always licking his lip, or biting his lip or… something
with his lips, always. Joey thought as the crazy guy began sewing some skin together, not even
really watching anymore. I wonder if I kissed him, would it be like kissing a girl? That thought seemed
rather pleasant. His lips on Chandler’s… that also made him turn a shade red and tense. What was he
thinking?!? He couldn’t kiss Chandler! He changed the channel and it came onto some cartoon.

‘You have to make it look like it was an accident Kailee!’
‘Hmm… you know something Roge, that just might work!’

Joey blinked before he looked up and tapped his chin. He pursed his lips while raising one eye brow.
That little cartoon gave him an idea…

He changed the channel to the news and began plotting…

Yet another long and dissapointing interview. Joey sighed while entering the apartment. He
walked over to the duck and the chicken whom, at this time, were just wandering around
the house. "Hey guys..." He said softly while picking the chicken up and stroking it. The
chicken clucked a few times. "God, this is getting horrible... I can't find any decent work
at all... I know it's not because I'm a bad actor!" He laughed at the mere thought. "Of
course not! I'm a great actor!" He said boldly to himself. The chicken clucked a few
times before scrambling away from him. "You don't think so?" He sighed while itching
at the side of his head before clutching the arms of the chair he was sitting in. "I'm gonna
be a little short on rent this month again... Chandler's really not gonna like this..." He
grumbled to himself.

"Darn, I was really depending on this comercial too." He sighed while rubbing his temples.
"What do I have to show for my impression?" Little did Joey realize, he meant 'profession'.
The duck quacked, seeming to know about it more then Joey did. "Oh, so now you're
dissapointed in me too? Fine." He groaned while getting up and heading off to the kitchen.
He pillaged around for a few minutes while thinking about Chandler. How would he react?
He'd probably be upset... Chandler was always upset these days about something. He was
climbing higher and higher and Joey was just... stumbling along as he always had...
Chandler was so impressive and he... wasn't. "Ross would be a better roommate then
me I bet..." Joey grumbled before closing the freezer, now with a tub of ice cream.

I feel like a fat girl who just got dumped. He sat down on the couch and turned on Opra
before the phone rang. He didn't answer it, though when the voicemail came on he heard
Chandler's voice. His eyes darted to the phone before he listened to the message...
something about being home later on. "Awww we were supposed to play pool tonight!"
Joey whined while picking up the phone. Asif Chandler was a mind reader, the other
complained about not being able to play pool in the table they worked on all day saturday
to build. "I know man that really sucks!... Alright I guess we can just play tomorrow or...
oh yeah we have that thing with Pheobie and Monica and Ross... Yeah yeah, I got it...
O-oh um... it went... okay ah-ha... y-yeah just fine. Nooo, noo, I'll be fine, I got enough
money to pay my share of the rent and I'll just order a pizza or something.... OKAY
YOU GOT ME I DIDN'T GET THE COMERCIAL!" Joey blurted. 'What?' Instantly Joey hung up
and covered his mouth. Why couldn't he lie to Chandler so easily?

With a groan he hit himself in the head a few times. "AAaarrrrhhgggah what's wrong with
me?!?!?" He whined before eyeing Opra who said something about always being true to
yourself. "If only it were that easy..." Joey mumbled before turning off the tv. He put
the ice cream away and dragged himself off to bed after feeding the duck and the chicken.
He just kind of fell on the bed and grabbed one of the pillows before hugging it close. He
kicked his shoes off and burried his face in the cloth. He felt like such a failure, especially
to Chandler... if only he could do something right... if only his acting career took off
properly and he was able to bring in a constant budget rather then some money from his
odd jobs that he used to pay for both, his agent and his share of the rent... Three jobs,
not including acting... and it still wasn't enough... and he kept loosing jobs because he
was ditching to go to an audition for something or getting interviewed... Slowly he began to
drift into an unconscious state while dwelling on all these failures.

Every Breath You Take...
Chandler aimlessly tapped on a certain key upon the keyboard of his computer; his eyes
drooping slowly to the immensely, boring day at the office. He could seek in a cat nap since
he had his very own office and all...yet, he was too tired to even sleep...surprisingly. He
yawned gently, inching his hand to the backspace button and started to delete every letter
'J' he had aimlessly placed upon the screen. 'Could this day get any worse?' The back of his
mind screamed in disagreement. 'No, no. I'm going to play pool with Joey tonight, we'll
crack open a couple of beers and watch the late night porno.' Chandler pulled off a cool
grin, 'Yeah, tonight will be great--'

"Bing!" Chandler's "butt-slapping" boss barged into Chandler's office, having Chandler
jump to the sudden surprise. "Can you stay in late tonight? Good, you're staying in."
Chandler sat there, completely distraught to what just happened.

"Uh-uhm sir!!" Chandler caught his boss before he could leave him to work another five or
eight hours. He got up quickly, moving around the desk to meet his boss at his door.
"I'm sorry, I don't think I can stay in late tonight. I have this "thing" I have to attend to
and it really means a lot to me and the person...that I'm attending to..." Chandler trailed
off, trying not to show that the "thing" was just a game of pool.

"Date? Child's performance? Sister's wedding?"

Chandler perked his lips. "I'm incapable of love...If I did have a child than I wouldn't be
here, now would I? And believe it or not, my gay father managed to create me with my
mom."

"Good, I'll see your folder on top of my desk tomorrow morning!" His boss slapped
Chandler's butt roughly, giving him a nasty grin. "Have a goodnight, Bing!" His boss left
Chandler's office, closing the door as he was walking away. The door pushed to a closed on
Chandler's face.

He stood there in awe. 'I really need to think over my words before I think them.'
Chandler sighed heavily, letting his head collide to his door gently in anger. He couldn't
believe that everything just went down the drain for him; it's been weeks since Joey and him
could hang out--sure, they LIVED together, but hardly see each other any more. Chandler
lifted his head from the door, rubbing his now red forehead. "Really got to think over my
actions before I do them..." he pouted his lips, turning around towards his desk. He went
back to the leather chair and plopped down into it; he immediately picked up the office
phone and dialed Joey. Chandler's heart was slowly breaking.

The dial tone rang for quite sometime, because of this, he had a feeling that Joey got the
part in whatever it was and was celebrating it...or just dancing around the flat. The dial tone
cut off and Joey's voice popped up as the answering machine; Chandler smiled lightly to
the fact that Joey changed the answering machine's message without his approval and was
whispering in the message in a sense he didn't want Chandler to hear. The beep echoed
into Chandler's ear, knowing it was time to speak. "Hey man, it's Chandler. I can't play
pool tonight, I'm working late and--" Joey picked up and the whiny voice rang in his ear
unpleasently. "Sorry....We could, but we have that--yeah...Hey, did the interview go well?...
You don't sound too happy, you sure it went well?...Oh hey, that's great...Yeah just order
the pizz--" Chandler was cut off by Joey yelling into the phone about not getting the job,
and then he hung up. Chandler looked into the phone as if it was the one who said those
words. Slowly, Chandler placed the phone back upon the hook. 'Geez Joey, I don't think I
can pay for all of the rent again...' Chandler couldn't be mad. He just couldn't. Joey was
trying his hardest to help out...he was just a naturally...bad at getting jobs...at least the
good ones. Chandler sighed roughly, dropping his forehead to the keyboard.

It was around two in the morning when Chandler unlocked the flat's door. All was silent when
he entered the housing and there was no pizza box on top of the counter. His stomach
growled in hunger, disappointed to see Joey hadn't even cooked. 'Things must've gone
really terrible...' He closed the door behind him, locking the latches; he turned back
around, placing his jacket and briefcase on the pool table. "Joey?" Chandler spoke up,
making sure if the man was on one of the chairs or wasn't; sadly, he found no Joey within
in the living room. Chandler glanced around, placing the keys on top of the counter as he
did; even the duck and chicken were silently sleeping.

Chandler went to Joey's door, and knocked gently on it a couple of times. There was no
response from the inside. "Hey Joey, I'm coming in. So if you're doing things, stop them
now." He slipped in a humorous joke in hopes that it would sort of cheered up the man if
he was awake. Chandler entered the dark room to no Joey. "Joey?" he switched on the
lights--nothing was in there. He sighed heavily, switching off the lights and stepping out of
Joey's room. 'Where could he be?' Chandler was too tired to pull off a search party and he
had doubts about Joey running away. He was childish but not THAT foolish. Chandler
entered his room, switched on the lights, and screamed. There on his bed was Joey clinging
to one of his dress shirts. "Jesus christ, Joey! You scared me!" Chandler WAS not expecting
Joey to be hiding out in his room; Chandler stepped further in to see that Joey was fast
asleep, snoring every once and a while. "Hey big guy, wake up" Chandler gently whispered,
kneeling down next to his bed as he did. His hand ran through Joey's black hair, comforting
the poor guy. "Joey...wake up..."

Joey was fast asleep at the moment, snoring into the dress shirt. He didn’t really realize
he wasn’t hugging a pillow, nor did he realize that he wasn’t in his own room. How
embarrassing? Normally Joey would probably be dreaming about flirting with some
unimaginably pretty girl. This would have been the moment where he would say, in his
sleep, ‘how you doin?’ however his subconscious wasn’t in the mood for beautiful girls and
sexual fantasies with everything going over perfect. It seemed like tonight was the tip of
the ice burg on his… unfortunate lack of accomplishments. No, instead, he was having one
of those sugar-coma dreams with the zombies and the monsters and the man eating
chicken that crushed mighty duck right before his eyes! The gentle touch was ignored at
first. Joey was cold, tense, and sweaty from his rather awkward dream that was growing
even more awkward. The chicken was suddenly devoured by… Chandler? And… ‘W-what?
DON’T EAT ME! I’M YOUR BEST BUD!’

“GAH!” Joey leapt up and pretty much tripped over…nothing? Oh no, that was Chandler’s
face. Before crashing right off the bed. “C-chandler? Look I don’t taste good don’t eat me
okay? I’m sorry I can’t be as neat as Monica, but she scares me sometimes man, always
with the cleaning supplies, I swear she sprays my eyeballs with laical every time we go to
her’s and Rachael’s flat!” He whimpered before blinking, looking around the room. “Heeey
this is your room? Why did you put me in your room?” Joey asked curiously, unaware that
he was pretty much sitting between Chandler’s chest and stomach. Some where on that
middle ground… “…and since when are the pillow cases made out of your shirts? Dude, what
the heck, I know I’m not bringing in much but we’re not that poor!” He said with a nervous
laugh, rubbing at his eyes with a soft yawn.

It took a few more moments, but after a witty comment that was either said, or played out
in his half unconscious mind, Joey realized where he was. “Ah!” he quickly got up and
helped Chandler to his feet. “S-sorry man I guess I went in here by mistake.” Joey said
nervously while backing away from the bed. He stumbled over one of his shoes that he
kicked off earlier however he caught his balance before he actually fell or anything.

“Hey are you just getting home? You must be hungry. It’s gotta be like, one in the
morning or something. Dang, your boss sure has you working late. Don’t they have labor
laws against this or something?” He asked groggily while rubbing his eyes. In the back of
his mind Joey knew that he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. He felt really bad for
Chandler, and this? This must’ve been awkward… was it really an accident though? When
he laid down he knew that smell wasn’t his pillow… it wasn’t even thick enough to be a
pillow, but he didn’t get up anyway. Was it instinct? Did he miss Chandler that much? I wish
it was him I was hugging rather than his shirt, or pillow or whatever. Joey thought absently only
to mentally stab himself. What the--? Where did that come from?! Random thought!
Immediately he dismissed it.

“Want me to make you something or, you just going to go to bed or…” Joey was obviously
embarrassed for this little mistake he made. His face was slightly red, he was rubbing at
his head and his opposite hand was fumbling with his jean pocket. He was still in the
clothes he wore all day today, which only made it worse because that made it obvious that
he hadn’t taken a shower since he got home… then again he usually showed in the
morning, so why did Joey suddenly think that mattered? It didn’t matter! It shouldn’t
matter. Did it matter?