Nodding his head and turning the page of his notes he quickly scrawled down a few of the questions that had been in his mind the most, the ones that he was worried would mess everything up for him. Silently ripping the paper out of the notebook he folded it and hesitated before tossing it onto her desk. His handwriting was fine and precise due to more than a century worth of practice, there didn’t seem to be any flaws with the way he wrote anything.

Carmine,

I know that me leaving you alone yesterday night was wrong so before I ask any questions I first have to apologize to you. I’m also sorry that I made anything strange or awkward for you in the car when I almost kissed… when I almost did something bad to you. (the second part was more truthful than the first) I must ask you these things though… what is it exactly I am to you? If I were to be something completely different what would you do? And if I were to leave today and never return would you be safe against all the cartons of milk and shiny red cars that are out to get you?

The final question had a bit of humor in it to alleviate the mood slightly, he was becoming more like Romeo than he thought, perhaps Chelsea could see into the future on how people would act. Ryan’s golden eyes traveled over to Carmine’s grey one’s as they flitted over his words in the note, his heart silent and unmoving but pounding all the same from the mere sight of her. He had to turn away from her completely to avoid a loss of control, it seemed to only get harder to control himself around her the longer he stayed around her.

He listened as she spoke to him, a sharp pang of hurt vibrated across the inside of his chest like someone had plucked the strings of a guitar and put them behind his ribcage. It was a little strange how he only had any connection to his heart by feeling for this girl, it was what he had been searching for all of his immortal life and now that he found it he was addicted. Feeling pain, feeling happiness, it had its distinct differences but Ryan didn’t care which one he felt as long as he felt them coming from Carmine, that way he knew that he wasn’t completely lost to darkness and that he still had a chance to be something more than death in every single form.

“Yeah… friends…” The words were silent to all but him as he pulled out a notebook and pencil, he began to take notes from the board as the book slammed down onto Carmine’s desk. Ryan tried to focus today instead of paying so much attention to trying to make something impossible work. It wasn’t Romeo and Juliet as he had thought last night but rather simply just Romeo, the whining self-absorbed Romeo who cared not for anyone but himself and his desires. That seemed to describe Ryan now, when he had thought there had been a spark between them it was completely different but with that spark being a figment of his imagination he was still Romeo but a different Romeo.

Nothing of what was going through Ryan’s mind right now was Carmine’s fault but it was rather Ryan’s hope’s getting a hold of his better judgment and running rampant across his brain making him think in ways he normally wouldn’t. Carmine was the one thinking correctly, so was Chelsea and he knew William was as well. They all knew that Ryan was a horrible match for her but still he tried to debate it and say he could handle himself when all along he knew it had been one big lie he had concocted to keep the feelings of life going in his chest.

“Carmine I have to… I… I have to ask you the questions… from yesterday, I never got to ask you the questions after I answered yours.” Of course he had changed what he had really meant to say. That he knew she was right, that he wanted nothing but for her to be safe and he wasn’t the best person to be around for that, that he was a blood sucking immortal who lied to her so far and came within an inch of draining her completely with his unrelenting thirst for her twice. It was at that moment how he wondered about how she would react to that news, what she would do or say to him… it didn’t look like they could even be friends really if what he imagined would really happen if he ever told her.

Connor walked off into the crowd to talk to the new*er* student in hope of being accepted by this one like Ryan had accepted him as a friend and ally in mischief, cough car on roof cough, so as Connor introduced himself to the boy Ryan made his way into the practically deserted school. The bell would ring soon but Ryan wanted to find Carmine before then, he knew he was a danger to her but that didn’t stop his urge to be close to her every waking moment of every single day and since he never slept that was all day for eternity. Making his way through the school he finally spotted her with her head resting against her locker, she didn’t seem to be in the mood to speak to him and actually looked very tired.

While debating on whether or not to speak to her the halls filled with the loud and quite pushy students of Dayville Oregon, making his mind up at the last second to just wait for her to speak to him he allowed himself to flow with the wave of students towards his first period class. Beating Carmine to the class Ryan decided to sit in the seat he was in yesterday he sat straight up and stared at the black board as he waited for the class to come in and sit down but mostly for Carmine. The new boy, Keith, wasn’t in the class Ryan noticed while he sat there. It was a little disappointing actually to not have him in the first period class because Ryan looked forward to meeting him and finding out more about him.

(Wow, horrible post. Really really horrible. I just can’t seem to make a better one at the moment. My next one will make up for it though, I promise ^^)

The sight of Carmine safe in the house without any visible harm on her since the last time he had seen her only a couple of hours ago was what allowed Ryan to get back in the car and drive off to his new house without much regret. He really wanted to stay and watch her until Josh got there but knew that the longer he stood outside the more it would tempt him to go inside and take her by force in every way he could. Chelsea was in his room when he entered and he noticed an open book in her lap as she sat in his chair centered in the middle of the room. “Enjoying yourself much Chelsea?”

Chelsea smiled and popped to her feet in her usually bubbly nature, the book fell onto the chair and she winked at Ryan slightly as she spoke. “Not as much fun as you did, spending the entire day with Carmine like that and then going to check on her is pretty cute…” Walking over to the chair he picked up the book she was reading when he came in and saw the words, Romeo and Juliet, scrawled on it in gold print. “This is a bit cliché don’t you think Chelsea?” She noticed smiled at him and winked again before prancing out of the door before closing it behind her. “I don’t think I’ll ever truly get used to living with her optimism and joyfulness…”

Sitting in the chair he flipped back to the beginning of the tragic play and began to read it, he took in every word and attempted to grasp their meaning now that he had a taste of a love that could never be. Perhaps Chelsea had chosen this book to give him a hint that the love between him and Carmine could never work or maybe it was all a coincidence but Ryan spent the entire night reading deeper into the story than just the words on the page. It was well into the morning when he finally put the book down and made his way into the bathroom where he got into the shower, he didn’t bother turning on the hot water but left it as cold as the skin it was hitting. Romeo had loved Juliet on looks and Juliet the same for Romeo, could it be the same with Ryan and Carmine? They barely knew each other honestly but it was as if he had no choice but to feel for her. Romeo had killed a member of Juliet’s family whom she loved, would Ryan end up losing control like young Romeo? These were all questions that needed to be answered and Ryan didn’t know if he really wanted to find the answers out.

Dressing in a pair of jeans with a white shirt and light jacket over it he stepped out of the house and slid into his car before starting it and driving off towards school, it didn’t take long until it came into view and a group of students could be seen in the front of the school crowded around something or somebody, Ryan’s heart would be pounding if it was still working as he hoped with his every being that it wasn’t Carmine injured on the ground that they were crowded around. Pulling into a parking spot he saw that it was a person they crowded around but not Carmine thankfully. It was a male with golden brown skin and short cropped jet black hair, he wasn’t at the school yesterday but Ryan could see that everyone was taking to him just fine. “New kid, name is something like… Keith?” Ryan glanced to his right and saw that it was Connor who told him the name of the new student. “Oh, maybe I’ll get a break then from all the staring. Have you seen Carmine?”

(I’ve decided to make Keith….a werewolf XD I know, generic, but I want to add more variety as it goes along ^^)

Thoughts racing faster than the car was as soon as the door had been closed Ryan wondered slightly if she was right. Perhaps Ryan should call it quits before he hurt her, it had been so close for the second time today and he wasn’t even sure how he had succeeded in stopping himself this time that he was sure he wouldn’t be able to do it again if she had stayed in the car. It took a few minutes to reach the safety of Williams house, and he sat in the car feeling as bad as if he actually had bitten into Carmine’s neck.

The picture of sadness on her face was one that would be etched into Ryan’s brain for millennia to come, he would be reminded of it whenever his urges overtook his sense’s in situations like tonight. It was then that he realized this was all his fault, completely and utterly his fault. Ryan had thought, ever so slightly but still it was there, that he could blame something on Carmine for luring him to her like she did but it was not as if she were doing it intentionally. The truth was that Ryan had no control over his actions around her, that he had an unfair advantage by being a vampire, that he knew his being near her put her in more harm than sitting on a railroad as a freight train barreled towards you. At least the freight train wasn’t irrevocably in love with you and would end up following you around to make sure you were okay.

This brought Ryan’s attention back to the present in which although he remembered driving home he found himself back on the road and retracing his way to where he had left Carmine in the cold dark night. “You know better than this Ryan… stop putting her at risk…” The voice of consciousness was drowned out as his foot pressed down harder on the gas causing the engine to roar and send him flying down the road faster than before. It took less time to reach the spot they had been at before this time as he stepped out and sniffed the air, it was faint but there and Ryan followed Carmine’s scent to a house with lights coming through one of the closed windows. Peering through it he was relieved to see a safe Carmine and grinned a little despite himself to see her eating comfort food, it was a double-edged sword because although it meant she was a little sad because of him it also meant she cared somewhat enough to be sad.